Highbury Fields, 2024 Photo Lesley Lawson

One of the wonderful things about living in the same neighbourhood for many years is that it has given me an incidental acceptance of the ageing process. I am on nodding terms with any number of local people. I do not know their names, nor where they live, but have followed the arc of their ageing over the past 20 years of my Highbury life: the carefree youth morphing into a proud dad and then a white-haired adult; the walker who developed a limp, had surgery, threw her sticks away; the dog lovers whose ageing pets disappear to be replaced by younger versions.

And of course there are the absences. One of these was the tai chi (taijiquan) elder who practiced on the Highbury Fields each day. A pleasure to watch, and a moment of respite while rushing to catch a tube to some work assignation. I longed to stop and ask for lessons but was too shy. And then he was gone…

Inspired by this mystical tai chi master in 2015, I joined a class in a local school hall and learned that his name was Mr William Wu. He had died, at the age of 80 years, three months before.  Mr Wu had indeed taught those who had the courage to ask for lessons—the teacher of my class being one. Nine years later Mr Wu lives on in Highbury Fields through the spirit of Richard Thomas, his pupil become teacher, and through Richard’s pupils (who at this rate are unlikely to become teachers).

OK. Full disclosure. It’s not always easy to maintain this rosy view of the great cycle of life. There are many unpleasant aspects of ageing: the body wears out, the brain lets us down, we lose our loved ones in unpredictable and shocking ways. Ageing is not for sissies, as the saying goes.

U-shaped curve or a squiggle?
And yet… there is ample evidence that points to the probability of being happier and more satisfied with life as we grow older. Several analyses using data from the US, UK and Europe conclude that happiness happens in a U-shaped curve, declining to rock bottom in middle age and rising again through the 50s and 60s. They show that older people are more satisfied with life and experience higher levels of emotional well-being. For example, one study in Germany and the UK showed life satisfaction declining from a peak at 18 years to a trough at 52 and 48 years respectively, and then increasing until the ages of 65 and 70 years respectively.

The explanation for the decline in happiness in the run-up to middle age may lie in pressures of work and family life, and high expectations which are not realised. Conversely, increasing well-being has been attributed to a range of factors such as increasing financial security, satisfaction of material needs and stability of human relationships and anticipation of retirement. Many researchers suggest that the secret of older life satisfaction lies in a growing ability to adapt expectations and accept changes in oneself and others. Acceptance, they say, is a central strategy for happy ageing. (Acceptance being defined as the process of deliberately and non-judgmentally engaging with negative emotions).

The U-shaped curve has had a good press. Enthusiastically received by journalists and writers it has spawned headline articles, in-depth features and books.

But here’s the problem: the theory rests on a flawed interpretation of the word “older”. All the research shows a second turn around the late 60s and 70s, when health problems associated with ageing kick in. And here the theory goes pear-shaped: not so much a U but a squiggle. Researchers have also picked holes in both the theory and the studies that aim to prove it, claiming unsound methodology and geographical and cultural bias. David Bartram of Leicester University writes, “It’s a nice story. But for many societies, that apparent outcome is an artefact of a statistical adjustment that isn’t appropriate for this topic. Happiness might increase with age,” he says, “As long as people don’t become ill, experience bereavement, or start to lose their friends.”

Accceptance...
A systematic review of studies on older peoples’ perception of health and care needs found that reconciliation was an important part of a positive attitude to ageing. This meant acceptance of one’s situation, rather than resignation. One participant told the authors “I have a bird that sings. I am glad to be alive and feel that the bird is singing within me. [It} gives me a feeling of joy, happiness at being alive”

For me the acceptance theory works. In my 70s, I put up with health and psycho-social challenges that would have driven me screaming mad as a youth. And I find solace and pleasure in the minutiae of life, which my youthful self never stopped to notice.

This morning, I found myself walking behind a frail and bent person negotiating the narrow passage that leads to the local park. Dressed in a tracksuit and matching hairclip she was plodding along slowly with her stick. She apologised profusely for holding me up and I assured her there was no rush. As I drew level I saw a mischievous grin: I sensed you, she said, but I couldn’t see you, and we laughed at that brief moment of contact and went on our separate ways.

References:
The U-shaped happiness curve:

• Blanchflower, D et al. Is well-being U-shaped over the life cycle? Social Science & Medicine, Volume 66, Issue 8, 2008,
• https://doi.org/10.1016/j.socscimed.2008.01.030.
• Wunder C wt al, Well-being over the life span: Semiparametric evidence from
• British and German longitudinal data, SOEP papers, May 2009.
• Rauch, J. (2018). The happiness curve: Why life gets better after 50. New York, NY, St. Martin’s Press.

Ageing, acceptance and adaptation:

• Shallcros A, et al: Getting better with age: the relationship between age, acceptance, and negative affect. J Pers Soc Psychol. 2013 Apr;104(4):. doi: 10.1037/a0031180. Epub 2012 Dec 31. Erratum in: J Pers Soc Psychol. 2013 Oct;105(4):718-9. doi: 10.1037/a0034225.
• Charles ST, Carstensen LL. Social and emotional aging. Annu Rev Psychol. 2010;61:383-409. doi: 10.1146/annurev.psych.093008.100448

• Holm A and Severinsson E. A Qualitative Systematic Review of Older Persons’ Perceptions of Health, Ill Health, and Their Community Health Care Needs Nursing Research and Practice. 2013. http://dx.doi.org/10.1155/2013/672702

Criticism of the U-shaped curve:

• Galambos N et al, The U Shape of Happiness Across the Life Course: Expanding the Discussion. Perspectives on Psychological Science 2020, Vol. 15(4) 898 –912DOI: 10.1177/1745691620902428
• Bartram D, The U-shaped happiness curve is wrong: many people do not get happier as they get older. The Conversation, August 31, 2022.